anti-new years resolutions

I outsourced my New Year’s resolutions to ChatGPT. Here are some of my favorite suggestions—none of which I plan to attempt.

Expand professional network: Attend at least one high-impact networking event each quarter or schedule regular outreach to industry leaders.
AI and tech expertise: Deepen your understanding of AI-driven solutions, particularly in growth private equity or operational efficiencies.
Master advanced tools: Gain proficiency in tools like Python.
Poetic endeavors: Write at least one poem or creative reflection each month, inspired by moments or people in your life.
Strengthen Romantic Bonds: Plan regular date nights or meaningful experiences with your partner.
The Salad Safari: Try a new, wild salad recipe each day for 30 days—bonus points for adding ingredients you’ve never heard of.
Random Acts of Quirkiness: Leave little notes of encouragement or jokes in random places (on coffee shop tables, car windshields, etc.).
Drink-a-Day Delight: Try one new tea, coffee, or cocktail daily—get weird with the flavors (hello, lavender mocha martini).
Alphabet Adventures: Pick a new place to explore starting with a different letter of the alphabet each day (“A for Aquarium, B for Bakery”).
1-Minute Dance Breaks: Drop everything once a day and dance to one song for exactly 60 seconds.
Postcard Madness: Send a postcard to a random friend, family member, or even yourself every day.
Fortune Cookie Forecasts: Write a fortune cookie-style prediction for yourself every morning and see how many come true.
Cereal Dinner Month: One night a week, eat nothing but cereal for dinner (bonus points for mixing two kinds).
The Reverse Morning: Do your bedtime routine in the morning once a week (comfy PJs and face masks with coffee, anyone?).
1-Minute Dance Breaks: Drop everything once a day and dance to one song for exactly 60 seconds.